At this age, A large portion of us experience similar problems. Issues associated with young age, ignorance, confusion, and a simple lack of experience and exposure to this life. We act in ways that cause pain. We speak words that leave scars. We create true friendships that fade into dust. We live and we learn.
Some of us will be lucky enough to have the opportunity to make amends with our wrong doings. Others will carry them on their backs forever, and look back at those they’ve wronged from time to time, and wish there was a way to make things right. It is vital for you to realize that people do move on, time will heal wounds, and others will come along and replace the void you left in their hearts. We are all just humans. We are not perfect, and we have not yet learned how to cause no wrong. The best we can do, is just try to make things right.
A Message to those I reflected my own insecurities upon:
The chain reaction of growing up in this society led me to transmit my own despair upon you. As a reaction to self-pity, and a misunderstanding of self-worth, I spoke hurtful words to you or behind your back – I embarrassed you in front of others and joined them in their laughter – and I refused to stand up for you when others acted upon the creation of my exposure. I hope you have realized that we are all simply children lost in the conflict of trying to fit in.
A Message to that/those which pushed me further into the ground :
In the moment, your presence was strangling. It felt as if I would never get back up, and if I did, I would be paralyzed from the heart down. We resist your suppression for as long as this life allows us to, some may persevere, others do fail. Regardless of your fate, you arise as a new person – a new being undoubtedly stronger, wiser, and more fierce than before. This is not a message of anger, this is a message of thanks.
A Message to my family:
You are there from the very beginning, and like a friend that doesn’t know when to back away, you have always been there to push me over the edge when I’m upset, but also to fall into when there is no one else. We are sorry for not appreciating you more when we would come home from school and you would ask us what we learned today, because there truly was so much to say. We would not be here at this moment in time without the iron casing that wraps a family together, the one truly unbreakable bond in this life. Family.
A Message to those I’ve loved:
Who is to say what defines love. It is malleable in its definition, because love cannot decide for itself whether it is governed by evil, or fueled by the goodness of nature. We will love and we will learn, and we will resent it’s happening, and crave its future. If there is one fact about love, it must be that one cannot love another until one learns to love themselves. So many are forced into skipping this preliminary, due to countless variables that lead to one misunderstanding the concept of their own self-worth. But one day you will find someone who appreciates you in your entirety, that someone simply was not me. Love finds its way into those that never stop believing it is there. Love is the only thing that matters in this world.
A Message to my true friends:
Have you ever truly stepped back and pictured yourself moving along in this life by yourself. Life would be empty. There would be no one to philosophize with, no one to discuss the questions that cannot be answered, and the answers that we stand to question. There would be no one to laugh with, to share pain with, and to be fucking weird with. We are products of our environment, and when you surround yourself with a group of kids who stand to empower one another, with no incentive, no driving force, no possible explanation why, something incredible happens. A bond is formed, a bond that results in a special type of person. A person that can sympathize with pain, justify wrongdoings, decipher right from wrong, and most of all — a person that can love. Friendship and love are the only things that matter in this world, because they are the same. It is a mutual respect, an intertwining of moral beliefs, and a realization that we are all simply human.