Those of you that know me, know that I try to avoid many things. Most of the things I avoid are negative, annoying, or just plain stupid. With that being said, I feel very cliche for even writing something like this, but I’m bored as hell, I have no homework, and its 3:21 PM on a Friday afternoon, so what else is there to do. The reason I have took to writing is because, for one, I enjoy it and because I feel like I have a lot to offer to college kids struggling in not only their academics, but simply, in life.
In high school, they tell you that college is going to be this and that, and they (terribly) attempt to prepare you for the next chapter of your life. They try to teach you how to properly take notes and how to create good study habits and how to take tests and just a bunch of bullshit right? Because once you get to college, you quickly learn that everything, not just what you learned, but literally everything from high school was completely irrelevant. Your grades, your image, your past, everything is irrelevant, because college is a new world. A new world that defines bitter-sweet.
One thing they don’t tell you in high school, is that your first year of college is going to consistently break you down to your lowest point, and then show you the highest high you could possibly imagine ( both literally and figuratively). I spent all of high school watching ImShmacked videos, and when i saw the video for the U of A, how could I not go there?And when I got to U of A, It was everything the ImShmacked videos promised, awesome frat houses, women that didn’t even seem real, and an environment that was #college. But there was a few bump in the roads, and things did not work out how I had planned. My first week at U of A was arguably the greatest week of my life, but I soon found myself very unhappy. Looking back, I cannot figure out why, but at the time I was so unhappy and in search for the perfect college experience that I packed up my bags and gave up on the school entirely after just a semester. I made excuse after excuse for why I was not happy, but I never blamed it on myself. So I followed my best friends, and transferred to NAU.
Now this decision was just pure idiotic. First of all, I despise the cold so that was mistake number one. Second, NAU didn’t even offer my major? I am not sure what inspired my decision to go there, but I figured, “If my friends were having the time of their lives ( which they were), why would’t I?” At first I was ecstatic to just be out of Tucson, but as the days went by I found myself sinking into the same feeling I had felt at U of A. Except this time, I was sinking even lower. I’m man enough to admit that I was very depressed, the days seemed to drag on, I was failing in a class for the first time ever, and every aspect of my life seemed to feel empty. Once again I searched for things to blame, but there was nothing else to blame, no one left to blame, except for myself.
Why do we want to succeed so bad? Why do we want to fall in love? Why do we want to have nice things? Why do we want to travel the world? We spend so much time working for these things, and why? The end result, so we hope, of all these aspects of life, is that once we achieve these luxuries, it will make us happy. Right? Because how can you be poor, alone, and done nothing with your life and somehow remain happy. Honestly I don’t know if that’s possible, but then how do you explain those that are rich, have the world in the palm of their hands, but yet they are depressed, suicidal even?
The main thing I want you to take out of this article is that happiness is a choice.
How the hell do you just chose to be happy?
Well first of all, stop being such a downer. Stop looking at yourself in the mirror with a blank face, look at yourself and rock that shit. Just smile. You can make yourself smile right? So just do it. When you hear your favorite song or you think the sky looks nice or you think you look fly as hell, just smile.
Ask yourself, what do you like? Do you love music? Do you like to draw? Do you enjoy writing? Whatever it is you like to do, do it more. Personally, I love to write music and rhyme words, its just cool to me. Will i ever make a career out of making music? Absolutely not, but everyone has a passion, find it and harness it. Use it as your escape.
Next, stop being so petty. This entire generation has become prone to complaining over the dumbest shit. Today is not the worst day of your life because you don’t have make up on and the cute guy in your Psychology class just happened to finally look at you. Let the little things go. The sooner you can push the little things aside and move on, the sooner you will find that life really isn’t as hard as you make it. We all have our bad days, but the true test of who you are is how you respond to adversity, and when you decide to stop feeling bad for yourself, you will feel much better in your own skin.
This next thing is one of the most important, and what I personally believe is what may be holding you back from a truly happy life. Learn to be alone. Learn how to be content, by yourself. During your first year of college, you will feel more alone than you ever have in your life. And that is perfectly okay. Take this time and figure out who you are. I see so many people who are ALWAYS in a relationship, or always trying to find someone to hook up with or always just so caught up in someone else’s life. But why? Honestly its pathetic. If you are someone that falls in love with a new person every 2 months you need to seriously check yourself, because I think you are actually incredibly insecure. If you think you’ve found your soulmate at this age, good for you. But if you haven’t, why are you even looking? This is the one time in our lives that we get to just live our own lives and do, whatever the hell we want. I’m sorry but the person you are at 19 in college, is not going to be the same person you are when you are 30. Stop trying to find love, and start trying to figure out how to truly be alive. College is about stepping out of your comfort zone, I’m not saying to go be bisexual for a week, but do things that make you say, Fuck it.
Ditch the toxic people in your life. Surround yourself with people that have similar ambitions. Sometimes it may seem like this world has nothing but negative people, but if you open your eyes, there are so many wonderful people out there that want to find happiness just like you do. But instead, most of you chose to let the same cold-hearted human- beings stick around and bring you down. Learn to let go. Its astonishing to me that people find themselves stuck in a relationship? How can you be stuck in a title? Sack up and make the decision that is best for YOU, because the longer you drag it on, the more regret you are building.
A good way to measure how happy you truly are is by how much you regret in your life. How are you going to die happy if you look back at your life and say, “Wow, I wish I would have done that.”I regret nothing in my life, because living with regret is living with unnecessary weight on your shoulders, and this life carries enough hardship as it is. Are there days that I wish I could go back to the U of A? Of course. But I don’t dwell on these feelings. I am not religious in any sort, so I can’t relate to the whole, “God has a plan” type thing, but i do believe that everything happens for a reason. Take that mindset, and roll with it.
I’m not saying that you will wake up one day and go from depressed to bliss. I am not saying that life isn’t hard, and college is definitely an uphill battle. But whenever you are down on yourself, just remember how young you are. We can afford to make mistakes, because when you do fuck up, its not the end of the world. Strengthen your mind, discover what it means for YOU to be happy. Because when it’s all said and done, and there is no more life to live, did you at least have fun?